Navigating as a Black Latina woman, in this life is harder than usual. Blooming into my womanhood, both versions of who and what a woman should encompass are completely different. As a Black woman, I am taught I have to survive and be strong, showing any form of failure is destruction to my role as a woman. As a Latina woman, I am taught, to hold the fort down, deal with it, and cook, clean and make babies. And the worst part is shut up. I have seen women in my community tolerate too much, from infidelity, emotional and physical violence, and manipulation and trauma.

The trauma that exists, passes down to the children and it is almost a domino effect. Honestly, it is truly normalized that it scares me. Our mothers and grandmothers are unhealed. And it isn’t their fault, however, it is not getting better. The amount of emotional trauma that exists, has become heartbreaking. So many of us are products of generational cycles of destruction. This correlates to mental health and the stigma that still presents itself. Mental wellness is not prioritized.

I am a product of that. I did not seek therapy until 26 years old. That is 26 years of not understanding the importance of my power because of the things I have seen and witnessed. I specifically talk about the Black and Latina community because this needs to be brought to light. It is uncomfortable, but I am comfortable speaking on it. 

I have portrayed myself as a people-pleasing person, savior, captain save a h*e, and a codependent individual. That behavior isn’t healthy. Because within having intentions to help, I wasn’t helping myself, I was self-sabotaged, and couldn’t recognize red flags. I was the unhealed trauma. Therapy helped me become self-aware, expressive, and powerful, and understand that to be a woman has nothing to do with being strong and suppressing my emotions. I am more than just someone who needed to lay on my back and make babies and deal with others’ traumas when I couldn’t even deal with them myself. I needed to understand, that if something didn’t feel right, it was because it wasn’t.

I had the right to speak up and not shut up. Do we realize what we have embraced as women? We are taught that we have no voice when God gave it to us. We have the power to change the narrative. Unfortunately, we can’t change the minds of those women who came before us, but we can be the change to help those after us.

And let me say, to my women who raised us. You are strong, you are resilient, and most importantly appreciated for sacrificing your mental health to take care of your responsibilities. But it’s not too late to work through those tribulations you faced. It is okay to tap into your therapeutic space. There are resources available for you, and healing never stops. You always should have been first. You should have never had to take on those battles, you held in. The cries and weeps still matter. You still matter and you are loved. You served protection and access to resources, and it is okay you didn’t know.

But the inner child, teenager, young adult you can still reach her and talk to her and connect with her.

Her mental health always mattered. This will be a stepping stone to helping your daughter and granddaughter and the future of women amongst us.

I am not giving up on you.