Heal First, Create Second

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When I started this blog years ago, it was my everything, my baby and my vision. I spent hours scrolling through social media staying up to date on Afro-Latinx trends and raising awareness. This platform has truly helped me become a stronger and better woman and proud Black woman. I didn’t feel the need to change who I was to impress anyone. I could say what I wanted and think freely. A community of empowering and fearlessly inspired me every single day. Every single inch of my time and energy went into my craft along with blood, sweat and tears. Even though I was doing something I loved and creating content that spoke so loudly. I forgot about myself along the way.

I started to take breaks every so often hoping that voice would speak again. Hoping and wishing that once I picked up that pen  and it will work magic and begin to fill in the blank spaces. Hence it didn’t. It was so hard for me to contribute to my platform because I wasn’t okay. I was healing from a very unhealthy toxic relationship, battling with useless friendships and not loving myself the way I should have.  The last few years my confidence sky rocketed so far and I loved every single bit of me on the “outside”. I knew internally no self – love existed. Self-love is not only just about loving you on the outside but ensuring you are mentally and emotionally okay.

What does this has to do with #IAmEnough you are probably asking? This blog was developed with love and passion but that feeling left my soul when I began not taking care of my mental space. I was almost forcing myself to be active but I knew it wasn’t healthy for me because I wasn’t okay. Writing has always been a tool that I can use to express myself. It didn’t feel this way though for some time. I was so anxious to post and to make sure I stayed connected with my Instagram page. In the long run it wasn’t healthy. My anxiety was not helping me produce the content that came from the heart.

I literally had to tell myself you need a break. Do not put a time on it. Do not overthink what will your followers and spectators will think. They will be there when you come back because they love and support you.

Heal yourself and the rest will naturally flow. This message is truly imperative not only to me but to you. We as creators and innovators may feel the need to always post and create content daily or weekly. It is totally okay to do that but you have to ensure that you are good first. Many of the things we do, we do it because we love to. However, if you have moments like me when you are battling with toxic situations you sometimes need time to deal with it. My blog has truly helped me in many situations and distracted me from specific obstacles. I knew this feeling of resolution only felt momentarily or it was temporary. This wasn’t always okay. I needed to fully take over and give myself time to work on me. I have not written an entry in almost 3 months.

This post came naturally and flowed like I knew it would. I almost couldn’t stop typing. Today I can say I am healed from my past worries. I feel whole again and most of all I feel more than enough. To my spectators and everyone who has been with us these last four years thank you so much. I will be coming back stronger and wiser and I am so ready!

Xoxo

Jenay Wright

 

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  1. Pingback: #IAMENOUGH

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